A trauma therapist describes why and how your past impacts your present relationship.
You get upset. He blows up. She shuts down. The next day you can’t even remember why it bothered you so much.
We’ve all been there, even therapists (we’re no more immune than anyone else). Here’s what I tell my clients about trauma and relationships, and the ways it can impact your day-to-day interactions with each other as well as your long term relationship.
Emotional Flashbacks Get Triggered
Many people in intimate relationships experience emotional flashbacks. In his book Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving, Pete Walker describes emotional flashbacks like this: “You feel little, fragile and helpless. Everything feels too hard. Life is…
Change your thoughts, change your feelings
Many people have heard of cognitive behavioral therapy, or CBT. It’s sometimes used by counselors to help with depression, anxiety, and trauma, but it can be helpful for almost anyone. When it works, it can seem a lot like magic!
I agree it is magic-like, and it’s also scientific. I find it amazing myself that something like changing our thoughts can help us with physical symptoms like feeling tired, queasy, or shaking in fear!
CBT therapy techniques, especially when practiced over time, actually rewire the brain to think differently. This can change your mood in the short-term as well as…
The act of creativity is part of your self-actualization process.
In my own mind, I feel most at home when my brain is working out a creative problem. Sometimes it starts with a general feeling of, “That can’t be done,” and moves into, “But what if I could do it?”
Then my brain gets to wondering how. To me, that’s the genesis of creativity.
I noticed that I enjoy many hobbies and challenges, including writing, painting, or working with my clients as an anxiety and trauma therapist. All of these bring me joy and satisfaction.
And with each of these, I learned how to induce the flow state. Flow is…
Hawaii’s shifty rainbows taught me a lesson about wanting and waiting.
In 2003, I took a solo trip to Hawaii. I picked my trip largely so that I could get a close-up look at the state’s famous rainbows.
Rainbows had taken on a sacred meaning in my life. They represented peace, healing, and a spiritual connection. On my 8-hour flight to the Big Island on my 25th birthday, I never doubted the rainbows to come.
The Certainty and Elusiveness of Rainbows
To illustrate my confidence in these many sightings to come, here’s some background. Hawaii has more rainbows than most other places due to the ideal…
Prevent complications like PTSD, no matter what you’re going through
Use This Equation: Think, Feel, Question, Heal
Recent research suggest that adults in America are struggling significantly with mental health symptoms since the COVID-19 pandemic began. In a post-pandemic CDC study, respondents reported high levels of anxiety, trauma-related symptoms, and increased alcohol and substance misuse.
Interestingly, all of these symptoms can overlap with each other. Anxiety is one part of acute stress and post-traumatic stress symptoms. And, many people use alcohol to avoid anxiety and other feelings, and to cope with mental health symptoms. …
Otherwise known as the best week of my summer.
Each year, I anticipate the first week of August. Since 2013, I’ve spent these days making crafts out of feminine hygiene products, donating to charitable causes, and helping my friends embarrass themselves.
It’s all part of a strange and unique charity event called GISH. It used to be called GISHWHES, and stood for the Greatest International Scavenger Hunt the World Has Ever Seen. Now it’s just GISH.
During GISH, participants complete strange creative challenges, such as creating sculptures out of tampons, or kind ones, such as donating supplies to a local women’s or children’s shelter.
In full disclosure, you’re reading…
A therapist reviews a fictional book with fantasy elements (the railroad isn’t a metaphor) that is all too real.
I first read The Underground Railroad by Colson Whitehead in the summer of 2016. It was an Oprah’s Book Club pick featured on NPR’s Fresh Air. I was so eager to read it I couldn’t wait for the local bookstore to get it in stock. I bought the ebook.
Perhaps I’m not the only privileged white woman who’s a sucker for Oprah’s book picks and NPR author interviews. This recommendation certainly didn’t disappoint.
There have been many pieces of fiction and fact based in our dark past that I feel skirt around the edges too much. …
Sometimes, PTSD persists. Here’s why and how to get free.
Are you struggling with symptoms like anxiety, hypervigilance, painful memories, nightmares, depression, avoidance and shameful thoughts and feelings? These are a set of symptoms that can make life miserable and may be caused by post-traumatic stress disorder ( PTSD). As a therapist, this is the area I specialize in and treat. Anyone can develop PTSD, and with years of training and experience, I believe anyone can overcome it.
There are many reasons that PTSD symptoms might persist over time. Here are some possible reasons you or someone you care about may still be suffering.
1. You’ve tried therapy, and it didn’t work.
Many well-meaning therapists are able to…
I regularly have clients who overcome PTSD — here’s how you can too.
By the time clients with post-tramatic stress disorder (PTSD) get to me, they’re often feeling pretty miserable. Common symptoms of PTSD include intrusive memories of past trauma, nightmares or sleep problems, high anxiety spells, and sometimes panic attacks and flashbacks. That’s not a pretty way to live.
Because the symptoms can feel so complex, many people believe that recovery from PTSD is complicated. After all, it can look and feel very messy.
But the most effective treatments for PTSD are anything but chaotic. With an evidence-based (proven)…
Jennie Lannette, LCSW
Therapist, writer, newly published author. Check out my book PTSD Quest about healing trauma symptoms, available on Amazon at https://amzn.to/35wiGPQ
