If you’re all about helping others, this is your permission to help yourself.

Photo by Madison Inouye from Pexels

What is self care, and how does it impact your life? Many people would like to prioritize their own wellness, but aren’t sure how to begin.

Self-care is a set of intentional practices that help you rest, energize, and live a healthier and more enjoyable life. It refers to practices that maintain and enhance one’s energy, mental wellbeing, happiness, and physical health. It’s not an indulgence, but rather a necessity — much like keeping a car fueled and tuned up.

A thorough self-care plan covers the following…


A trauma therapist describes why and how your past impacts your present relationship.

Trauma can come up in many different ways in relationships. Photo by Ba Tik from Pexels.

You get upset. He blows up. She shuts down. The next day you can’t even remember why it bothered you so much.

We’ve all been there, even therapists (we’re no more immune than anyone else). Here’s what I tell my clients about trauma and relationships, and the ways it can impact your day-to-day interactions with each other as well as your long term relationship.

Emotional Flashbacks Get Triggered

Many people in intimate relationships experience emotional flashbacks. In his book Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving, Pete Walker describes emotional flashbacks like this: “You feel little, fragile and helpless. Everything feels too hard. Life is…


Change your thoughts, change your feelings

CBT can seem like magic when it works, and it often does. Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay.

Many people have heard of cognitive behavioral therapy, or CBT. It’s sometimes used by counselors to help with depression, anxiety, and trauma, but it can be helpful for almost anyone. When it works, it can seem a lot like magic!

I agree it is magic-like, and it’s also scientific. I find it amazing myself that something like changing our thoughts can help us with physical symptoms like feeling tired, queasy, or shaking in fear!

CBT therapy techniques, especially when practiced over time, actually rewire the brain to think differently. This can change your mood in the short-term as well as…


The act of creativity is part of your self-actualization process.

Photos are by the author, and were part of an artistic scavenger hunt challenge.

In my own mind, I feel most at home when my brain is working out a creative problem. Sometimes it starts with a general feeling of, “That can’t be done,” and moves into, “But what if I could do it?”

Then my brain gets to wondering how. To me, that’s the genesis of creativity.

I noticed that I enjoy many hobbies and challenges, including writing, painting, or working with my clients as an anxiety and trauma therapist. All of these bring me joy and satisfaction.

And with each of these, I learned how to induce the flow state. Flow is…


Hawaii’s shifty rainbows taught me a lesson about wanting and waiting.

Image by Anni Roenkae from Pexels.

In 2003, I took a solo trip to Hawaii. I picked my trip largely so that I could get a close-up look at the state’s famous rainbows.

Rainbows had taken on a sacred meaning in my life. They represented peace, healing, and a spiritual connection. On my 8-hour flight to the Big Island on my 25th birthday, I never doubted the rainbows to come.

The Certainty and Elusiveness of Rainbows

To illustrate my confidence in these many sightings to come, here’s some background. Hawaii has more rainbows than most other places due to the ideal…


Prevent complications like PTSD, no matter what you’re going through

Use This Equation: Think, Feel, Question, Heal

Research shows us what helps during ongoing stress and trauma. Image by Alexandra Haynak from Pixabay.

Recent research suggest that adults in America are struggling significantly with mental health symptoms since the COVID-19 pandemic began. In a post-pandemic CDC study, respondents reported high levels of anxiety, trauma-related symptoms, and increased alcohol and substance misuse.

Interestingly, all of these symptoms can overlap with each other. Anxiety is one part of acute stress and post-traumatic stress symptoms. And, many people use alcohol to avoid anxiety and other feelings, and to cope with mental health symptoms. …


Otherwise known as the best week of my summer.

This was a 2016 GISH challenge to recreate media images of the presidential candidates in play dough. Images and art by the author.

Each year, I anticipate the first week of August. Since 2013, I’ve spent these days making crafts out of feminine hygiene products, donating to charitable causes, and helping my friends embarrass themselves.

It’s all part of a strange and unique charity event called GISH. It used to be called GISHWHES, and stood for the Greatest International Scavenger Hunt the World Has Ever Seen. Now it’s just GISH.

During GISH, participants complete strange creative challenges, such as creating sculptures out of tampons, or kind ones, such as donating supplies to a local women’s or children’s shelter.

In full disclosure, you’re reading…


A therapist reviews a fictional book with fantasy elements (the railroad isn’t a metaphor) that is all too real.

I first read The Underground Railroad by Colson Whitehead in the summer of 2016. It was an Oprah’s Book Club pick featured on NPR’s Fresh Air. I was so eager to read it I couldn’t wait for the local bookstore to get it in stock. I bought the ebook.

Perhaps I’m not the only privileged white woman who’s a sucker for Oprah’s book picks and NPR author interviews. This recommendation certainly didn’t disappoint.

There have been many pieces of fiction and fact based in our dark past that I feel skirt around the edges too much. …


Sometimes, PTSD persists. Here’s why and how to get free.

Many get stuck in PTSD. But I believe there’s always a way out. Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

Are you struggling with symptoms like anxiety, hypervigilance, painful memories, nightmares, depression, avoidance and shameful thoughts and feelings? These are a set of symptoms that can make life miserable and may be caused by post-traumatic stress disorder ( PTSD). As a therapist, this is the area I specialize in and treat. Anyone can develop PTSD, and with years of training and experience, I believe anyone can overcome it.

There are many reasons that PTSD symptoms might persist over time. Here are some possible reasons you or someone you care about may still be suffering.

1. You’ve tried therapy, and it didn’t work.

Many well-meaning therapists are able to…

Jennie Lannette, LCSW

I’m either a therapist who writes, or a writer who therapizes. Come join me at www.thecounselingpalette.com If you subscribe I’ll give you free stuff!

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